In a groundbreaking move to improve the country’s comedic talent and streamline Bharatiya Humor, the Indian Government has passed the ‘One Nation, One Comedy Act 2025’ to ensure that all comedic affairs in the country bolster national morale (and tightly regulate who gets to laugh at whom) by establishing the Ministry of Comedic Affairs. 

This first-of-its-kind initiative ensures that humor aligns with Bharatiya Sanskaar and promotes National Integrity and Comedic Harmony. The announcement came directly from the Prime Minister himself during his Mann Ki Baat address, where he declared, “Mitron, India has finally overtaken the West in one more sector: State-Sanctioned Comedy.” 

The Ministry of Comedic Affairs (MoCA) will be the central regulatory body overseeing all comedic content—stand-up, satire, memes, and even WhatsApp forwards. According to its official press release, the ministry’s mission is “to foster an environment where humor is patriotic, respectful, and devoid of any references to unemployment, inflation, or certain friends of the government with monopolistic business empires.” 

Heading the new ministry is the Sarsanghchalak of the RSS, Mohan Bhagwat, who is well-known for his comedic talents, such as leading an entire ethno-nationalist movement based on lego-brick temples, and claiming that India got independence in 2024. Bhagwat proudly announced that this was the first ministry where “laughing at the wrong joke is a national security threat.”

This bold new move follows a recent controversy with the talent show “India’s Got Latent” where anti-national stand-up comedians dared to make poorly-constructed jokes you usually hear at a college hostel afterparty. Only this time, it was catapulted to National Media, Mumbai Police, Maharashtra Cyber Department, the Supreme Court, and family WhatsApp groups across the country, even reaching the footsteps of a Parliament probe—all for making a joke about parents and copulation. 

All this began when YouTuber and podcaster Ranveer Allahabadia, better known as BeerBiceps, posed a cringe question: “Would you rather watch your parents have sex every day for the rest of your life or join in once and stop it forever?” This single question shook the very foundations of Indian Society, with FIRs being launched against the podcaster and the show hosts, right-wing groups calling for a boycott, and the Supreme Court suddenly deciding what sort of humor Indians should consume. 

Police from Maharashtra to Assam summoned comedians to be interrogated, while newsrooms across the country blared about the moral decay of Indian society being depicted through a single stand-up that was just posted on YouTube. It’s not like this moral depravity is better seen through the continued legalization of Marital Rape, impunity for massacres committed by state forces in Nagaland, or the fact that 90% of Indians do not have money for spending on non-essential items. 

It is indeed a relief to know that your government and society have their priorities in place when a single joke about parents having sex made at a comedy stage has more shock value than any of these issues. If only we had this much societal anger and pressure when elected MPs make hate speeches by calling for the boycott of the entire Muslim community. They instead get picked up for re-election and become the Deputy Chief Minister of Delhi.

Despite BeerBiceps being your average typical podcast dudebro pandering to fascist politicians to make Hindutva more appealing to a younger Gen-Z and Millennial crowd, Allahabadia found his own benefactors turning on him. Surprisingly, the fact that Allahabdia was one of the 23 winners of the National Creators Award—handed out by our very own Supreme LeaderPrime Minister to entice a tech-savvy youth population into the Hindutva project—did not stop conservative right-wing trolls from sending death threats and intimidating the podcaster for his poor jokes. 

All this necessitated the urgent creation of a Ministry of Comedic Affairs, which will limit such incidents in the future. After all, we are a country where comedians are arrested for jokes they don’t even tell. 

Who would’ve known a bunch of old conservative right-wing uncles would not gel well with low-brow comedy if it was not about making fun of minorities? Meanwhile, a Times Now panel hosted a two-hour debate on whether “foreign powers” are conspiring to undermine India’s comedy revolution. “India has finally taken control of its own humor!” Arnab Goswami declared. “No more foreign agents influencing our punchlines!”

The Ministry of Comedic Affairs has already rolled out guidelines under the Bharatiya Utsav Satire Suraksha Yojana (BUSSY), which dictate what is and isn’t acceptable in Indian comedy. Jokes regarding constitutional authority are a strict no-no, along with jokes involving religion (the dominant one), parents, police, or the Armed Forces. Memes on Adani and Ambani will be flagged as “anti-development” and result in instant internet suspension. 

However, jokes about “youths who don’t work hard” and how “billionaires earned their way through hustling and we must be like them” are encouraged. Jokes about women, religious minorities, and other marginalized groups are welcome, with special note for ‘Anti-Reservation’ jokes to promote a Savarna Meritocracy. 

All stand-up comedians must now pass a Nationalism Certification Exam (NCE) where they must answer questions like, “Who was the greatest comedian of ancient India?” (Answer: Narada Muni). Citizens who laugh at government-approved jokes will receive tax benefits. Those who laugh at restricted material will face scrutiny under the Unlawful Humor Prevention Act (UHPA). 

Political satire is welcome—as long as it targets the opposition. Making fun of Rahul Gandhi is not just encouraged, but will earn comedians a Pradhan Mantri Hasya Samman award. If any elite Savarna millionaire wants to be added to the ‘No Humour’ immunity list, they can buy a Rs. 5 Crore Immunity Certificate to have all jokes against them or their business dealings strictly off the table. 

While some consider this a bizarre provision, sitting Supreme Court and High Court judges have already been granted immunity from jokes as an extension of its ‘contempt of court’ protections. Retired judges, however, will have to purchase the Immunity Certificate, with reports suggesting that ex-CJI DY Chandrachud was seen rushing to the Ministry of Comedic Affairs to buy an immunity certificate so that his legacy is left intact.

With the passing of the National Comedy Act, the PM’s daily podcast Mann-Ki-Baat will also feature a 25-minute comedy segment that all citizens are mandated to listen to and laugh at. Anyone found not laughing at the jokes of the Prime Minister or any Cabinet Minister will be instantly picked up by RSS kar sevaks and sent to Humour Reeducation Camps being built nationwide. A helpline number for children to report if their parents are not laughing enough will also be unveiled soon. 

The Act also charts out accepted meme templates and will provide free YouTube Premium subscriptions for stand-up comedians who enlist in the Rashtriya Sanatana Comedy Sangh—the organization that all state-sanctioned comedians will have to be a member of. 

Critics point out that the act will only tighten existing government censorship and violate fundamental constitutional rights limiting freedom of speech. But they will soon be sent to the Humour Reeducation Camps so we needn’t worry too much. It’s not like the recent “India’s Got Latent” controversy, targeting of OTT platforms, blocking of websites depicting political cartoons, and the assault on comedians by the World’s Largest Democracy is a way for the current regime to clamp down on all spaces of dissent, expression, and diversity. 

After all, what says ‘democracy’ louder than an authoritarian government known for taking down tweets of COVID death rates, banning Australian satire videos about Indian elections, removing tweets about railway station stampedes, and being known as the internet shutdown capital of the world? 

With India’s comedy scene now fully under government jurisdiction, citizens are advised to laugh responsibly. Any accidental smirks, cackles, or chuckles at the wrong joke will immediately lead to a case under the Unlawful Humor Prevention Act (UHPA). 

Akhand Bharat’s place as the Vishwaguru for World Humor is fully underway, with one satirical writer who fled the country anonymously remarking, “In the New India, the joke isn’t on the government—the joke is the government because when fascist clowns take over a cabinet, parliament becomes a circus.”