To mark six years of the arbitrary arrests and imprisonment of political dissidents in the Bhima Koregaon case, The Polis Project is publishing a series of writings by the BK-16, and their families, friends and partners. (Read the introduction to the series here.) By describing various aspects of the past six years, the series offers a glimpse into the BK-16’s lives inside prison, as well as the struggles of their loved ones outside. Each piece in the series is complemented by Arun Ferreira’s striking and evocative artwork.
We were at our village for Sagar’s grandmother’s funeral rites on the day of his arrest, in September 2020. Sagar received a call and had to leave for Mumbai immediately. He did not tell us what was going on. Later, we called his friends, who told us that he had been arrested. Like others, Sagar was offered the opportunity to become a state witness and escape arrest. But he didn’t take up the offer, insisting that he had not done anything wrong.
I keep giving interviews to reporters, but what is going to happen with it? Will he be freed? We just want him to get released from jail. People give us hope, saying he’ll be released in three months, six months. It’s been almost four years since his arrest. When will he be out? We can do nothing but wait.
Soon after he was imprisoned, he got COVID, but jail authorities did not admit him in a hospital. He was just quarantined in a different room. He suffered from other health issues too, like skin allergies and back pain. He suffers from acidity regularly. They don’t give him enough water to take a bath, they took away his mosquito net. He said he cannot study during the daytime due to noise, so he studies at night, after all the inmates are asleep. And he has to get up early as well. Now he has dark circles around his eyes.
For the most part, though, he does not tell us about the problems he faces in jail. We only get to know about them later, after he overcomes them. We speak to him over phone calls for five minutes once in a while. My younger son filled out forms requesting video calls during COVID. Usually, he just tells us that he is doing okay, that there are no problems in jail, and asks us to take care of ourselves.
Once, we got to know about the problems he faces in jail only because he started a protest by fasting, to demand certain facilities in jail. Even I stopped eating food when he was fasting. My blood pressure went down at the time. When his friends told us that he was okay, I resumed eating.
I met him twice in jail, two years after his arrest. He was sitting on the other side of a glass window. I remember how the glass wasn’t clean, so I could not even see him properly. We spoke through a phone. He told me he was okay and asked me to take care of myself and my husband. Unlike lawyers who can go inside the jail, I could not meet him in person, to hug him. My husband met him at a court hearing in Mumbai.
Recently, he was given bail for four days to attend our younger son’s wedding. He came home on 2 May and returned on the 6th. We were so happy, but we were also busy with the wedding. We cried a lot the day before he had to go back. When he returned to jail, he suffered from dysentery. Once again, he told us only after he recovered.
Earlier, our neighbours and relatives would avoid talking to us after Sagar was arrested. They would look at us with suspicion, and gossip about us. We used to feel very bad about it. My in-laws who stay in Shrigonda, in Ahmednagar district, were very scared initially. But now both relatives and neighbours talk nicely.
Our lives turned upside down
When he was around, our life was smooth and without problems. He would study while doing a part-time writing job, earning enough to run the house. Now our younger son has to take care of the house. We both are old and jobless since COVID. My husband used to work as a security guard, but now no one gives him a job saying he is too old. I had one job taking care of an old lady, but she died. Now I am also not getting any work. Our lives have become miserable.
We both have health issues, I have a spinal cord condition because of which I cannot bend for a long time. Sagar tells our younger son not to allow us to work because we have become old and worked hard our whole lives. But it’s not possible to run the house on one person’s salary. We have a debt of Rs 1-1.5 lakh, but we’ve not told Sagar about it because he will grow worried. My daughter also works in a call centre to support her family.
Sagar was a very shy child. He didn’t fight with anyone. He also didn’t have many friends before he joined Kabir Kala Manch. Now it feels like his life is being spent in jail. I want to see him married and have kids like other normal people. But he says he is too old to marry.
People tell us he should stop doing work for Kabir Kala Manch. They advise him to look after his own life instead. But we have seen KKM’s programmes, and we like them. The police have given them a bad reputation. KKM does good work, and people who attend their shows agree. Is it a crime to sing songs now?
These kids are good people. They should be released soon. People who murdered others are out on bail, but my son is inside even though he has not done anything. We both attended Elgar Parishad when Kabir Kala Manch performed songs. They never went to Koregaon Bhima where the riots took place. Still, newspapers published articles that the KKM were responsible these riots. I used to cry all the time then.
We just want him to be out before we die. We miss him when there are festivals. We miss him when we make methi ke parathe. We cannot describe how much we miss him.
As told to Varsha Torgalkar